Q:
My fiancé and I are getting married in a couple of months, and we're really looking forward to our lives together. But so many of our friends have already been through at least one divorce, and we don't want that to happen to us. How can we prevent it?
A:
The most important thing you can do is to build your marriage on God and His will for your lives. As my wife used to say, a strong marriage actually needs to include three people: the husband, the wife—and God.
Begin your life together, therefore, by committing your lives and your marriage to Jesus Christ. Remember: marriage isn’t just a social convenience or a legal custom. Marriage comes from God, and it is one of His greatest gifts to us. When times of stress or disappointment come (and they will), remember that God brought you together, and you made your marriage vows not only to each other but also to Him. Never forget Jesus’ words: “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Mark 10:9).
In addition, include Christ in your lives every day. Pray together—not just before meals (although that’s important), but regularly every day. Set aside time also to read God’s Word together, and seek out a church where you can grow in your relationship with each other and with Christ.
The greatest enemy of love is selfishness—putting self first instead of the needs of others, especially your spouse. But inscribe God’s definition of love on your hearts and minds every day: “Love is patient, love is kind. … It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” (1 Corinthians 13:4,7). This is the kind of love God has for us—and the kind we should have for each other.