I sincerely hope you won’t give up on your marriage, but that you will do all you can to renew and rebuild it. And I believe it can be restored, with God’s help—because God cares for you and wants your marriage to be strong.

In your view, your husband doesn’t understand what love is—and perhaps you are right, at least up to a point. But could the same be true of you? Don’t misunderstand me; I know things haven’t been easy for you, and you aren’t to blame for everything that has gone wrong. But have you been willing to go out of your way to assure him of your love, and to put your love into action?

You see, love isn’t just an emotion; it also involves our wills, and it involves action. The greatest enemy of love is selfishness, and if there has been any hint of that in your own heart, I pray you will face it and repent of it. The Bible says, “Love is patient, love is kind. … It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5).

Begin by committing your life—and your marriage—to Jesus Christ. Then ask God to help you renew your marriage by acting in love toward your husband. Most of all, ask God to help you both put Christ first in your lives, because the closer you get to Christ, the closer you will be to each other.