Q:
Do you think that we ever really get over the death of a loved one? I lost my wife of 49 years to cancer over three years ago, and I miss her just as much today as I did then. Will I ever get over this? I know she's in heaven, but sometimes I can hardly stand it I miss her so much.
A:
No, I doubt if we ever truly get over the death of someone we loved very deeply–and the longer or more closely we knew them, the harder it will be. The Bible tells of a mother “weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because they are no more” (Matthew 2:18).
At the same time, God wants to comfort us in our times of sorrow–and He will, if we will let Him. Jesus’ promise is for you and for every person who passes through times of sorrow: “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4). God’s promise is true: “As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you” (Isaiah 66:13).
How can you know God’s comfort? First, thank Him every day for the years you and your wife had together; they were, after all, a gift from Him. Thank Him also that your wife is now safely in heaven, beyond the reach of the pain and distress of this life. Thank Him also that someday you will join her in heaven if you know Christ.
Then ask God to help you reach out to others who need His comfort. They need your love and concern–and you need theirs also. Don’t try to carry your burden alone, but don’t make others carry their burden alone, either. All around you are people who need encouragement, and God wants to use you to help them and point them to His love. God bless you.