Q:
I know I shouldn't be this way, but when I get upset I'll say bad things to people that are very hurtful. Later I'm sorry, but how can I get better control of my tongue?
A:
Almost nothing is more destructive than an undisciplined tongue. Not only does it cause damage when we’re upset, but every day it gets us in trouble or harms our relationships. No wonder the Bible says, “The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body” (James 3:6).
What can you do? First, realize that the real problem is within us, because what we say actually comes from our hearts and minds. If our thoughts are impure or selfish, our words will be that way also. On the other hand, if our hearts are motivated by love and compassion for others (and for God), it will be reflected in our speech.
This is why our greatest need is to have our hearts changed—and only God can do this in a lasting way. This is why I urge you to begin by turning to Jesus Christ and giving your life to Him. God loves you, and your life will never be the same once you commit it to Jesus. Why not open your heart to Him today?
Then ask God to help you overcome your emotional outbursts by looking to Him for the patience and compassion you need. In addition, ask Him to help you use your tongue for good. If you fail, immediately seek His forgiveness and help—and the forgiveness of those you’ve hurt also. The Bible says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful … that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29).