Q:
My boyfriend and I are talking about marriage, but he worries me sometimes because he'll never admit he's wrong -- even when he clearly is. He always blames someone else for his problems, and never admits they might be his fault. Should I be concerned?
A:
Yes, you should be concerned, and one reason is because if you do get married, he’ll probably end up blaming you whenever he thinks anything is wrong. Are you sure this is the way you want to spend the rest of your life?
But I suspect other problems are involved here, too. Someone who’s blind to his or her faults is driven by pride, and may even get angry or upset when others disagree with them. They also resist changing their ways, even when it would be in their best interest. Instead of accepting personal responsibility for their decisions and actions, they stubbornly insist that their way is always best, even when it obviously isn’t. The Bible says, “Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice” (Proverbs 13:10).
The most important issue, however, is this: Are you honestly seeking God’s will for your marriage? God loves you and knows what is best for you, both now and in the future. Elsewhere in your letter you acknowledge that your boyfriend has no interest in God or church — and to be frank, that’s a major reason for his problems.
Face honestly your own need for Christ, and put your life and your future into His hands. Then urge your friend to do so also. God doesn’t want you to spend your life being put down, nor does He want your spouse to be ruled by pride and selfishness. And it won’t be like this if Christ is at the center of your marriage.