No doubt some of those books could have helped you but others might have misled you if you weren't careful, because they aren't based on the truth of God's Word. What the Bible warned about many centuries ago is still true: "Many deceivers ... have gone out into the world" (2 John 1:7).
But one book will not deceive you if you approach it with an open heart and mind and that is the Bible. Over many centuries, God revealed Himself to its writers, and by His Spirit He led them to write down His truth. The Bible puts it this way: "Above all, you must understand that no prophecy of Scripture came about by the prophet's own interpretation. For prophecy never had its origin in the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit" (2 Peter 1:20-21).
Where should you start? I often urge people to start with one of the Gospels at the beginning of the New Testament (such as John). Through them you will learn about Jesus who He was, and what He did for us by dying on the cross for our sins and then conquering death through His resurrection.
I sense that down inside you have a hunger for God. Don't ignore it! Instead, discover the greatest truth anyone can ever know: that God loves you and sent His Son to die for you. Open your heart to Him, and your life will never be the same.