I'm sure you're sincere, but I deeply hope you won't allow yourself to take a wrong path in life by getting involved with any kind of occult practice. Instead of bringing you close to God, it will only take you away from Him.
Why do I say this? The reason is because the Bible clearly says that occult practices of any kind do not come from God, but from spiritual powers that oppose Him. In other words, the Bible says occult practices aren't a gift from God (as you believe) but come from the one who opposes Him namely, Satan. God warned the ancient Israelites that the nations around them practiced sorcery and divination, "But as for you, the Lord your God has not permitted you to do so" (Deuteronomy 18:14).
Instead, I urge you to turn to God and seek His will for your life. Only He knows our future, and only He can be trusted to lead us. God loves you, and He wants what is best for you and the proof is that He gave His only Son, Jesus, to die for you on the cross.
Our greatest need is to be cleansed of our sins only Christ can do that. By a simple prayer of faith invite Jesus to come into your life today and He will. Then make it your goal to "pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart" (2 Timothy 2:22).