You could end up like this the rest of your life - but I hope you won't, because it isn't necessary, not if you'll learn to trust God for your future.
After all, God knows all about you; He knows the hurts you've experienced, and He knows too the fears you have about the future. But God also knows your personality and your needs - and if it's His will for you to remarry, don't you think He also knows the kind of husband you need? To take it a step further, don't you think He can be trusted to lead you to the husband He has already chosen for you - a man who loves God and is seeking God's will for his life? Of course He can, because God loves you and wants what is best for you.
If you have never done so, ask Christ to come into your heart and commit your life to Him. Then ask Him to help you trust every detail of your life into His hands - including your desire to remarry. The Bible says, "'For I know the plans I have for you.' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'" (Jeremiah 29:11). This is God's promise to you.