One day Jesus met a woman at a well outside a certain city, and as they talked it came out that–like you–she had had several husbands (five altogether), and was now living with a man who wasn't married to her. (You can read the whole story in John 4.)
How did Jesus react to her? He didn't reject her, but instead accepted her just as she was, and encouraged her to turn to Him for the new life she needed. Down inside she was spiritually thirsty, and He promised to come into her life and give her "a spring of water welling up to eternal life" (John 4:14).
Yes, you have ignored God most of your life–and you have paid the price. But why stay on this road any longer? It hasn't brought you the security and peace you seek–and it never will. The devil's promises are always lies. The Bible warns, "the wicked are brought down by their own wickedness" (Proverbs 11:5).
Instead, confess your sins and ask Christ to come into your life. You need Him, not just for your eternal salvation, but for your life right now. God loves you and He wants to come into your life and fill you with His love. The greatest step you can ever take is to open your heart to Christ. Don't let another day go by without Him.