Answers

Topics: Adultery

Q:

My husband had an affair. How can I ever trust him again?


A:

One reason I wanted to reprint your letter is because it vividly shows the terrible things that can happen when someone breaks their marriage vow. Perhaps it will be a warning to someone who is foolishly thinking of doing what your husband did.

You see, when he started down this path, your husband wasn't thinking about the heartache and pain he might cause you; he was only thinking of himself. But your pain is real–and now he shares it. The Bible warns, "For the lips of an adulteress drip honey. ... but in the end she is bitter as gall" (Proverbs 5:3-4).

Yes, trust is hard to rebuild–but with God's help your marriage can be healed. That's why I urge you and your husband to turn your lives over the Christ and make Him the center of your relationship. God loves you, and He not only wants to forgive the past, but He also wants to help you build for the future. If you have never done so, turn to Christ and ask Him to come into your lives.

Then take steps to strengthen your relationship. Don't constantly dredge up the past; that only reopens old wounds. Instead, learn to enjoy each other's company more than in the past, and ask God to help you reignite your love. This is a painful time, but with God's help your marriage can not only survive but become stronger.