The most important thing I can say is that God cares about you and doesn't want you to destroy yourself. And because He loves you, He wants to help you turn away from the path you're on, and set your feet instead on another path -- Christ's path.
This is why I pray you'll turn to God and admit your need to Him. He knows all about your struggles and failures, but He hasn't rejected you. In fact, He loves you, and you can be completely honest with Him. Then by faith invite Jesus Christ to come into your life -- and He will. He'll not only forgive you, but He'll also be with you and help you. The Psalmist said, "The Lord is my strength... my heart trusts in him, and he helps me" (Psalm 28:7).
How will he help you? First, He'll help you understand why alcohol has become such an important part of your life. For example, perhaps your parents didn't know how to deal with their problems and used alcohol to escape from them -- and now you do the same. A trained counselor may be able to help you here; your doctor or pastor may know what resources are available in your community.
Then God will give you a new desire to rebuild your life, with His help. It may not be easy, but "Do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go" (Joshua 1:9).