You've already taken the first step by admitting you have a problem and want to find a solution. And you can, because God doesn't want money to destroy you, and He wants to help you get it under control.
Let me suggest three steps you might take to bring this problem under control. First, ask yourselves this question: How important is money to us -- not only money, but also the things it can buy? Is it the most important thing in our lives? You'll probably protest that it isn't, but are you sure? For example, if it's ruining your marriage (as you indicate), doesn't that suggest money has become more important to you than your relationship? The Bible warns, "For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil" (1 Timothy 6:10).
The second question is this: How important should money be to you? Money shouldn't be your master but your servant. In other words, what is your priority in life? Make God -- not money or things -- your priority, by turning to Christ and asking Him to become the center and foundation of your family, and your finances.
Finally, what practical steps can you take? Get a budget and stick to it. Avoid new debt; cut up your credit cards or lock them away if you can't control them. Above all, follow the Bible's command: "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have" (Hebrews 13:5).