I know yours has not been an easy road, but the most important thing I can tell you is that God has not abandoned you, and His love surrounds you every moment of the day. You can depend on God's promise: "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5).
Listen: As long as we focus only on ourselves and our own problems (and for many of us they are minor compared with the challenges you face), we will always slip into self-pity and despair. But when we focus on God and His love for us, our problems will grow smaller, and we will find strength to meet them–and even with joy. The Bible says, "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7).
How do we keep our focus on Christ? One way is by making His Word, the Bible, part of our lives every day. Through it we not only learn how God wants us to live, but we discover how great His love is for us–a love so deep that His only Son was willing to endure the cross. No matter how much we suffer, Christ suffered far more than we ever will–and that is the proof of His love.
May God strengthen your faith as you commit your way to Christ every day. And remember: Someday all the pains of this life will be over, and you will not only be better–you will be whole, for you will be in heaven with Christ forevermore.