Sometimes we deserve to carry a burden of guilt because we've clearly done something wrong -- and we know it. King David experienced this after he committed adultery with Bathsheba: "My bones wasted away.... My strength was sapped" (Psalm 32:3-4).
But sometimes we carry a burden of false guilt -- that is, guilt we don't deserve to have. We may think we've done wrong, but in reality we haven't, at least not to the degree we think we have -- especially in God's eyes. I can't help but wonder if this is the case with you. You don't know what really caused the crash that killed your husband -- and you never will. Yes, you wish you'd never argued with him, and that is a legitimate concern. It also is a lesson for others who might be tempted to keep conflicts brewing. But don't carry a burden you shouldn't be carrying.
The most important thing you can do, however, is to turn all your burdens over to God. Why keep carrying them by yourself, when God wants to carry them for you? The Bible says, "Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall" (Psalm 55:22).
Guilt, grief, discouragement, fear of the future -- whatever your burdens are, hand them over to Jesus Christ. God loves you -- and your life will never be the same once you understand this.