I don't believe I've ever met a person who was addicted to drugs -- whether they were painkillers or any other type of drug -- who didn't wish they were free from their iron grip. Even if they didn't admit it at first, they realized that they'd be far better off without them.
Part of the problem is that as time goes on, you will almost certainly find that you'll need stronger and stronger doses to overcome your pain. And with those increased doses will come greater side effects -- not only physically, but emotionally and socially. If you were honest, I suspect you'd have to admit you're already experiencing these. In addition, no reputable physician will keep feeding your desire for these drugs, and sooner or later you'll try to find illegal ways to meet your need.
The most harmful effect, however, is that drugs are cutting you off from God (as you admit elsewhere in your letter). Drugs -- not God -- have become the center of your life; right now you don't even see any need for God. But God loves you, and life's greatest joy comes from knowing Him and seeking to do His will. Jesus said He came "so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete" (John 15:11).
Face honestly your need -- not just to be free from drugs, but to put Jesus Christ at the center of your life. Then talk honestly with your doctor about your problem. With God's help your future can be different.