I'm thankful Christ has changed your life and given you the strength to overcome alcohol's grip on you. Perhaps your letter will encourage someone else who is facing the same struggle, and help them turn to Christ also.
Yes, I can understand your feelings (and God understands them far better than I do). But let me ask you a question: What does God want to do in your life, now that you have committed yourself to Christ? The answer is this: He wants you to grow closer to Himself, so He can change your life and make you more like Christ. The Bible says that when we walk closely with Christ, we "are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory" (2 Corinthians 3:18).
How does this happen? It happens as we grow in our relationship to Christ—and that's one reason why church is so important. We can't change our lives on our own; we need the encouragement and help of other believers. The Bible says, "Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds" (Hebrews 10:24).
Ask God to help you find a church where Christ is preached and taught, and where others will understand you and show Christ's love to you. Ask God also to help you to point others to Christ, especially those who may be facing the problems you once faced.