Let me ask you a question: Do you think God wants you to be this way the rest of your life? The answer is "No"—and the reason is because He loves you and wants what is best for you. He doesn't want you to wreck your life!
In fact, He cares about you far more than you care about yourself—and because He cares what happens to you, He wants to help you break free of your slavery to alcohol. Right now you may be wondering if anyone can love you; you may even hate yourself. But God loves you no matter what you've done, and once you realize that great truth, your life will never be the same.
How do I know God loves you? I know it because Jesus Christ was willing to sacrifice His life for you. If you had been the only person on earth who needed to be saved, Christ still would have come down from heaven and given His life for you. The Bible says, "This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins" (1 John 4:10). Ask Him to come into your life today.
Then seek help for your problem; your pastor may know of an effective program in your area. It may not be easy, but you are never alone if you know Christ, and He wants to help you confront your inner problems and deal with them. God has not given up on you, and with Christ's help your life can be changed.