No, you weren't deceiving yourself into thinking you were saved when you weren't—not if you sincerely believed in Christ and committed your life to Him.
The reason is because once we truly confess our sins and give our lives to Jesus Christ, we become members of His family forever. When you were born to your parents, you became a member of their family—and nothing can ever change that. And when you were born again by the Holy Spirit, you became a member of another family—the family of God—and nothing can ever change that. Jesus said, "I give them (who believe in me) eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand" (John 10:28). This is God's promise to you!
Your problem, I suspect, is that you haven't been nourishing your faith, and as a result it has grown weak. If you stopped eating for even a day, you'd grow physically weak—and the same is true spiritually. How do we keep spiritually strong? One way is through reading and learning God's Word, the Bible. Another is through prayer, while another is through fellowship with other believers. Make these part of your life every day.
Don't rely on your feelings or your emotions; rely solely on Christ and what He has done for you. God loves you; He loves you so much that He sent His only Son to die for you. Keep your eyes on Him, and your faith will grow and stay strong.