Instead of giving you advice, I'd rather give you something far more important: a truth you can depend on, one that will give you hope for the future.
What is that truth? It is this: God loves you. Yes, He knows all about you; He knows what you have done (and what you have failed to do), and He knows the feelings you have right now. But no matter what your past has been, God still loves you and has not abandoned or discarded you. And because this is true, you can have hope for the future.
How do I know this? I know it for one reason: Jesus Christ was willing to die for you so you could spend all eternity with Him in heaven. If you had been the only person on earth who needed to be saved, He still would have died for you. God loves you that much!
Jesus didn't come to die just for good people (although they need Him also). He came to die for sinners—including you. The Bible says, "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8).
By a simple prayer of faith ask Christ to come into your life today, and He will. Then commit your future to Him, for "the God of hope (will) fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him" (Romans 15:13).