If God had given up on you, or your conscience were too hardened for you to listen to Him, then you wouldn't even be writing me. Instead you'd simply not worry about it, and you'd go on ignoring God for the rest of your life.
But I sense that you are worried about this—and that is good! The person who is in the most danger spiritually is the one who just doesn't care about their spiritual state. The Bible warns, "A man who remains stiff-necked after many rebukes will suddenly be destroyed—without remedy" (Proverbs 29:1). You should take this warning seriously.
But the Bible also tells us that God will answer the person who honestly seeks Him. Jesus said, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you" (Matthew 7:7). This is why I urge you to ask God to give you a desire to know Him—a desire only Christ can satisfy.
What is God seeking to tell you right now? First, He is seeking to tell you that you need Him, both for this life and the life to come. He also is seeking to tell you that He loves you. He loves you so much that Christ was willing to sacrifice His life for you. Most of all, He is urging you to give your life to Christ and open your heart to His transforming power. Don't ignore His voice, but commit your life to Jesus today.