The first thing I would say is that I feel very sorry for you -- and I mean this sincerely. You've lost something that everyone on earth yearns for -- and that "something" is hope.
Let me explain. If there is no God, then you and I are absolutely alone in this universe. We have no one to comfort us when we grieve, and no one to turn to when we need wisdom. Nor does life have any meaning; we are simply like a fallen leaf drifting aimlessly down a stream. But more than that, if God doesn't exist we have no hope of anything past this life. As Job said in a moment of despair, "My days are swifter than a weaver's shuttle, and they come to an end without hope" (Job 7:6).
But life doesn't need to be this way -- and the reason is because God not only exists, but He loves us and cares what happens to us. The most important thing I can urge you to do is to look at Jesus Christ. Why is this? The reason is because He was God in human flesh. Do you want to know what God is like? Look at Christ as He is revealed in the pages of the New Testament.
Right now, I know, you don't believe in God. But as you open the Bible I challenge you to make this prayer: "God, I'm not even sure You exist. But if You do, speak to me through this book. And if You do that, I'll not only believe in You but I'll give my life to Jesus and become His follower."