Occasionally, I'll meet someone or get a letter from someone like you, and it always makes me sad because I know they're shutting their eyes to reality. The Bible warns that someday we will all die, and then "we will all stand before God's judgment seat" (Romans 14:10).
Right now you scoff at this, but have you ever asked yourself why? The reason, I suspect, is simply because you have wanted to live life on your own terms. You know that if you were to take God seriously, you couldn't remain in control of your life any longer -- and you don't want that to happen. Instead, you want to live by your own rules (or lack of rules), and so far you've been able to do it.
But let me ask you a question: Are you sure you're right? I doubt it; otherwise you wouldn't have written me. Please don't misunderstand; I don't say this to win an argument or put you down. I say it because I yearn for you to discover the greatest joy any person can ever experience -- the joy of knowing God, and knowing you will go to be with Him forever in heaven.
Don't let your pride or anything else keep you from Jesus Christ. God loves you, no matter what your past has been and wants to welcome you into His family. God's promise is for you: "To all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God" (John 1:12).