Your letter saddened me very much because I know what is likely to happen to you down the road -- although right now you aren't able (or willing) to see it.
But the truth is that you are on a dead-end road, which will only bring you heartache and sorrow. God didn't tell us how to live because He hates us or wants to make us miserable. Instead, He gave us rules to live by because He knows what is best for us, and He wants us to be happy. Jesus said, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full" (John 10:10).
When we ignore God's rules and live any way we want to, however, we end up only hurting ourselves. Some of the Bible's most sobering words are found in the Old Testament book of Proverbs: "There is a way that seems right to a man (or woman), but in the end it leads to death" (Proverbs 16:25).
You may think you're free right now, but in reality you have become a slave -- a slave to your own desires and appetites. But God doesn't hate you; God loves you! He loves you so much that He doesn't want you to wreck your life by ignoring Him. I pray you will wake up before it's too late and open your heart and life to Jesus Christ, who alone can give you the peace and joy you're seeking.